Last week one of my Online Transformation Challenge clients sent me an email commenting on the apparent lack of 'fessing up* when people have a slip up with their transformations. Things like skipping training, binging on junk food, overindulging with alcohol....all those habits that people are working on changing because they are stopping them from achieving their goals.
*'fessing up on social media....plenty of photos and comments when people achieve things or make small changes but it's tumble weeds when things head backwards.
8/3/16
Hi coach/trainer I thought you might find this interesting - even though I have had a very bad MP day - ie drinking - my thoughts are this - I find I have chosen the MP structure as my future life - and will just continue on tomorrow - generally I would have thought fuck it and just gone backwards - however tomoz I will wake up and go back to MP - for me a very interesting forward thought - I wonder if all those folk who do wonders ever backslide ....much less admit it -. for me I feel it is very necessary to make me realise my drunk days are going to be few and far between but I know will never leave me - very interesting.... your errant pupil!!!!! Fascinating as it may seem it is ALWAYS in my thoughts ..... maybe finally but slowly .....I just thought you might find this interesting .... I just find it fascinating that no one admits to screwing up .....
My reply was......
EVERY single person (yes, even trainers & coaches) backslides, here and there. Some do admit it to themselves and their coach, others simply hide the fact and omit to let their coach know.
Those that do admit and recognise are the ones who will succeed in the long run and those that don't fess up are the ones who crack it and blame everyone and everything else under the sun for their "failure".
Thank you for being open and honest. Congratulations on such a massive breakthrough in your thoughts and behaviours.
For me I would have hit the grocery shops, filled up the trolley with chips, ice cream chocolate and done my binge/purge method of dealing with what ever the situation was. Your drug of choice is alcohol, mine was food.
Some people do have the guts to admit it on social media, most let their coach know, and as I said, some pretend that it didn't happen.
If you want to be one of the ones with the guts to put it on social media and tell the world how much you'v changed in the last 6 odd weeks, EXACTLY as you've put it below, I'll bet you will get a lot of comments about how others have done the same thing!!
Moral of the story here......
So what if you make a mistake, an error, a lapse of judgment, returned to an old habit, or whatever phrase you wish to use. The most important thing about it is ADMITTING it, recognising that your old habits are still there, just below the surface and that you really haven't dealt with them.
And you won't know until a situation arises that will test out your new habits against your old habits. Which habit took control of the situation? Did you hit up the local bottle shop, junk food outlet or aisle in the supermarket, pick a fight with your spouse, or whatever "self-medicating" habit that has been your default habit in the past, or did your new habit - go for a walk, take a nap, give your spouse a hug, etc, take control?
Sometimes, just sometimes, we have to go back to see how far we have come.
I had a pretty horrible time back in 2011 when a very, very close friend passed away and the week leading up to his funeral was the week form HELL. If there was going to be a time for me to relapse back into my binge/purge cycle, then that was it. Thankfully I was far enough it my recovery that I was able to keep that from happening. That was when I had a true indication of how far I'd come.
First step - Admit to yourself that you've taken a step or two backwards in your journey.
Second Step - Tell your trainer/coach what happened and WHY. (you've got to be the one who "owns" this)
Third Step - Discuss with your trainer/coach other options in the event that a similar situation arises you have other strategies to deal with the situation.
Fourth Step - Don't beat yourself up about it. Shit happens. Mistakes are how we learn. Tomorrow is a new day and another opportunity to think new things, speak more kindly, act and behave in ways that will get you closer towards your goal.
Two days later the same client sends me this message......
10/3/16
Lost around half a stone and got a 14 zip done up I could not get done up at the beginning of the week - woo hoo!!!!!
11/3/16
I CAN FIT INTO MY FRENCH JEANS!!!!! Big achievement - had them 5 years and bought them in France - woo hoo!!!!!
Making a mistake doesn't mean you have wasted all that time and effort......results are still happening!!!
Be Brave and Share your backwards steps as much as you share your forward ones!
