Even though it was over 25 years ago I can still remember as clear as the proverbial bell the reply from an old high school teacher of mine after she'd asked me how I'd gone with my year 12 results.... I said I'd passed, to which she had replied "well THAT was a given from the day you were born." I had only JUST passed though. Scraped through by the skin of my teeth. I was feeling pretty crappy as it was about my results without having THAT statement thrown carelessly at me. So what the entire town had expectations that I was going to do something rip roaringly brilliant with year 12 and go on to do something "smart" at uni just because of my dna??
So of the things that come out of people's mouths.....I swear they don't think before they speak.
We are all who we are and life is challenging enough without extra pressures being put on us because of who our mother, father, sister, brother, uncle, aunt or grandparents are/were.
I don't know about you but hearing "you are just like......" makes me so mad. I am not just like anyone else but me.
Nor are you just like anyone else but you and nor should you be trying to be anyone else but you.
What drives you?
Deep down is the reason why you do what you do at the level you do it so people think well of you?
I've had numerous clients say to me that they are going to do really well because they want ME to be proud of them. Or that they are going to smash it, because they want to prove all THOSE people wrong.
I don't want anyone to do anything because they want to make me proud because that means they are looking for EXTERNAL validation.
There is only ONE person that you need to make proud and that is yourself.
For some reason we are all (well most of us) Brilliant at putting ourselves down. Calling ourselves failures, hopeless, useless, dumb, stupid, lazy (another for my most disliked words list) because we make mistakes. If we don't get things right the first time or when we get feedback that we didn't do something as well as we'd thought, instead of taking that as something that can help us learn, improve, gain confidence, take the next step, we throw in the towel and walk away.
Getting out of the vortex that is low self esteem is incredibly hard, especially if you don't have the right support network. Pay closer attention to the words that your friends, work colleagues, and even your family members use to describe themselves or others. Are they complimentary or disparaging? Do they wish to build themselves or others up or tear them down?
I am certain that if you are a parent that there is no way you'd want your child thinking about themselves the way that you probably think about yourself when things don't work out the way that you'd planned. So where did it go so wrong???
I think it is when we start comparing ourselves to other people's hightlight reel.
"The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel" Steve Furtick.
No one but that person knows what is going on behind the scenes, the struggles that they have had, faced and overcome to get to where they are today, to be the person that you see today.
The day I stopped trying to please everyone else, stopped trying to be someone I wasn't and started simply focusing on being the best version of me that I could be was the day life stopped being so bloody hard.
I am who I am - I have similarities to family members because of genetics and because of the environment I have been exposed to over the years but ultimately I am who I am and I am no longer comparing myself to anyone else. I was able to do this because I found the right community; one that supports me when times get tough, celebrates my successes, and where those with unhealthy egos leave pretty quick.
Change is hard enough without trying to do it on your own!!
If you would like find out how you can become part of the Nexus Body Transformations community and get the support you need for your transformation journey please contact Kylie today.
0412 033 389
kylie@nexusbodytransformations.com.au
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